Face frenemies: a cautionary tale

face longevity skin care tips

You. An armload of clothes. A well-dressed employee…who introduces herself (and gives you a compliment!) as she unlocks the dressing room door and helps you with your haul.

The first outfit goes on, and it’s perfect for Date Night: low cut but not slutty…clingy in just the right places…it shows off that delicious hint of cleavage you’ll have as soon as you put on your fancy bra.

But then.

Your eye catches.

Just there…right at the hollow between your collarbones.

“It’s probably the lighting,” you think to yourself.

“Definitely the lighting.”

You lean closer. Touch that spot. And notice something you’ve never noticed before.


Why have you not seen this? How have you not seen this? WHY HAS NO ONE TOLD YOU??

You have Early-Stage Old Neck Syndrome.

Tiny wrinkles chase each other from your jaw to your chest. Some go crossways (creases!!) Some are vertical. OH NO. And some are very similar to the rivers you see on Maps.

If you’re lucky, you won’t be able to relate to the above.

Beware, though.

Your neck and chest are your face’s backstabbing frenemies.

For decades they’ve been supportive and agreeable…willing to take a backseat to your makeup and hair. Always ready for a fun adventure.

But then.

When you’re not looking…

They tell people you’ve gotten older. People you want to impress. People you hope will give you lots of very discreet hickies.

Your neck and chest will get back at you for not paying attention to them. They’re waiting until you have complete confidence in their loyalty…and then they strike. Tiny wrinkles. Weird blotches. A permanent tan you don’t seem to have anywhere else.

Little things at first. Then bigger. And bigger. And more noticeable.

Until one day you’ll be that lady with a great face and saggy neck.


Start paying attention.

Shower those Frenemies with love and affection NOW, before it’s too late.

  • Adorn them with scarves.
  • Shade them with sexy wide-brimmed hats.
  • Flirt with them using high-neck collars.
  • Keep a special moisturizer on hand to use just for them.
  • Remember to sunscreen the sh*t out of them…all the way to your bra cups. Every day.

Basically, treat your neck and chest as well as you treat your Northern and Southern faces.

They’ll be thrown off, and forget to tell people your true age when you hit 40. Or 60. Or 80.

It’ll be awesome.

You’re gonna look fabulous.

And no one will be able to tell exactly why.